i saw her then i looked at myself

"WHOAHHHHHHHHHH! i wanna be happy! whooooah! but i can't"

How long has it been since i posted a happy one? AGES?

i can't post a happy post, i can't im going through something, i wish im not in this situation, i wish i never even thought about it. My days are running dry, and empty. Today was our church's youth sporstfest tune up game, i was assigned to play volleyball thought im not really good at it, i made every one laugh at me this afternoon. Well maybe its going to be like that all throughout the days of my life , ME MAKING THEM LAUGH AND ME HUMILIATING MYSELF. My friends tell me that i can be funny in such an effortless way, the way i talk, the way i shut up, the way i listen and sadly the way i look.:)(

i saw her pictures, she's so pretty, she's living her dream, and i realized that im stuck with my inhibitions and fears, and i can't go and live like that.